I’d program it to squat and a leave a pile, hand the human a plastic bag and walk off snickering.

If it turns out that Drew got hit by a car, that would really make all of the “Shit Ranked!” article and comments pretty ironic.

The Pretenders-Message of Love

The perfect alarm clock, or nearly, is my Sony Dream Machine.

Nah. Schemes. Devise schemes to maximize your talent.

Tua better hope they come back and win, or he's gonna get the belt.

The predictability aspect seems a lot more interesting than the seven DBs. For as much as Romo kept talking about those DBs, they didn’t really seem to be making that much of an impact. Sure, Derwin James was flying to the ball, but he does that no matter where he’s lined up.

“Yep.”

King of the Monsters > anything else. Thought I notice now there’s a hilarious amount of genre movies coming out this year. I only need the one though.

This is great, but honestly, my favorite* part of every video of Parkey’s miss is the look on Matt Nagy’s face. Just the perfect jaw-drop.

This is the most interesting Chargers story on this page.

Look at his eyes! They love each other so much, they want to be together.

On what I call the Brian Blessed Principle of Unknown Name Pronunciation, when in doubt about which syllable in a word to emphasize, I emphasize all of them.

He certainly cannot read the question...

Having Tony Romo call this game was AWESOME. His enthusiasm and expertise shined on every series and unlike the useless humps every other network employs he was able to communicate the more intricate concepts behind the Ravens offense. The Browns did slow them down during their second half comeback. But instead of…

Our kids were born in CT in the early/mid 90s and yeah, we played this on VHS a LOT during the holidays. Anyway, we had some neighbors immediately next to us and their house and yard were a complete and unmitigated disaster. So, naturally, I took to calling it The Bumpus’ House. Several years later we moved to OH and…

it was his true medium. 

The hounds must be near the top of the list b/c his sputtering howl of “Bumpasses!!!!!!!!!!” is my favorite insult to use in daily life year round.

When Ralphie put the air rifle ad in Look magazine, he assumed it was his mother’s, but it was actually his old man ogling the swimsuits who found the ad. That was how he knew to get the rifle and why he was the only adult who didn’t discourage him.