No one spins Christmas like Run-DMC

Elvis. Cheesy. Mumbly. Perfect.
Happy holidays, my friends.

Can we get an official update on Drew? You don’t have to get into specifics or anything, just a simple “he is doing better should be back soon” would be nice.

You have a wife?  You must be quite the Cazenovia. 

At last, we’ve found the true victims of Bowlen’s Green.

“Better players. Better football. Denver Broncos.” The ads write themselves.

Please don’t take this as me being insensitive to people with Alzheimer’s, because it has affected my family as well, but I can’t stop thinking about what’s going to happen if Annabel looks in the mirror while having a bad delirium episode and doesn’t remember doing this to her face.

Dear Bowlen family, please sell the team to this man, for our sake.

GET WELL, GET WELL SOON, WE WANT YOU TO GET WELL!

(everything is sounding like a eulogy, Jebus.)

From another time, I give you the Ice Bowl in 1985 between the University of Oklahoma and Oklahoma State University.

I’ve got a Bathroom Crime story for you guys.

This happened in a stall at my office, except it was blood instead of poop. Just a straight up blood spatter on the wall for like 6 months.

Already happened.  I get into work about an hour before any of the other companies do, so I am usually in the clear, but the obese guy that shits on the seat has been getting there earlier and earlier the past few months...so my life right now is if I don’t shit by 8am, it’s not gonna happen

Now try giving them a real challenge…

What is the now exactly?

I’ve been to the teddy bear toss game for the Cleveland Monsters the last two years and am going this year. It’s great to get a large group of people there and contributing to a charitable cause. I usually bring 3 or 4 stuffed toys for this. Last year I threw a stuffed moose that got stuck in the protective netting…

?? I hrdly know her!!

At long last sir, have you no stars?

Yeah, but Marvin Lewis doesn’t have an Aaron Rodgers. He’s got Ginger Rodgers.