“He’ll be fiiiine” - Marv Marinovich  

When did Epsom salts become a lavish toiletry?

Settle down, Tomsula. 

I gotta admit I admire the fuck out of the Sentinelese peoples commitment to killing outsiders with bows and arrows.

She tried very hard to get him to pull out and he wasn’t having it. She’s pretty worried

He’ll congratulate himself for making the landing possible.

Dam, looks like Falkor got rabies.

I was at the Metrodome in 85 when the Bears went thru the Vikings like a Scythe thru the wheat with Jim McMahon and the whole crew looking unstoppable. We were in the endzone on the ground and when they were coming at us it was the best game you ever saw. 

Trubisky has progressed nicely but the Bears offense can not keep up with the Saints or the Rams. The defense is good (even Prince Amukamara and Kyle Fuller which means we’re in an alternate universe, apparently) but until I see it I can’t imagine them stopping New Orleans or LAR. 

I don’t like to bookmark my favorite porn vids either.

It’s not the battery percentage that’s concerning, it’s the 73 tabs on a mobile browser

ftfy

holy shit a Toonces reference.

I dunno how much time McCarthy has left, but no way he’s gonna be able to stop the clock.

The only way you can get a Packers fan to take their Lipitor is if you hide it in a cheese curd

Though I’m tired of Star Wars and Marvel and needed no Grinch movie either, I’m completely ready for hire on a Special Man extended universe. What makes him special? Are there consequences to his easy willingness to give furniture away to the financially insolvent? What IS his favorite po’ boy?

so many Harlan highlights but the best is his call of an idiot on the field doing the radio for the Monday night second game a couple years ago. It was a horrible shit game so he was as bored as the rest of us, but from that came greatness:

The fact that there is someone named Jim Bob Cooter who is a football coach and he doesn’t coach at Alabama, or maybe Mississippi State, is one of the greatest travesties of the 21st Century. And yes, I know we’ve been putting kids in cages for a while now.