She definitely worked a Hot Dog on a Stick.

"Now everyone has seen that face." -R.Brand

they shoulda deflated Carroll's head

that's right keep your distance.

making the right tactical decisions in real time based on those threats, that the whole system could be set to fully automatic with positive results.

And did Nacho Cheese Doritos win a play-in match over its various cousins ; we all knew Cool Ranch was overrated and a chump, but couldnt Doritos have its own bracket...and what if Nacho Cheese DIDNT win that bracket.

crispy bacon vs beef jerkey in the D2 matchup... GO !

whats the over/under on how much time is spent on this pseudo-controversy during the SB pregame ?

I dont normally find myself at parties in new cities, but when i do, I tend to get a little amp'd.

Marshawn Lynch is a clown. I understand he doesn't want to talk to media, but it is part of the deal.

"you're with me leather"

You're with me, Glucotrol XL.

i would say he's jumped the shark, but the only thing he jumped was to the front of the line at Home Town Buffet.

You..fucking...people (with your kettle chips). You have no idea how to put on a superbowl party. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, while kettle chips are hearty and crunchy, pale in comparison to the unique flavorings of salt and vinegar. You just weakened a tailgate today, Caffy. sleep tight.

overinflate the Patriots balls by 2-3 psi for the Superbowl.

Area warden for a building of several hundred, I dont get to wear the fez, I'm not the fire warden...anyway, I have no fucking clue what to do in the event of an emergency...its in some huge book somewhere in central files. I'll be sure to look it up when Godzilla burps.

peanut butter in a celery boat/stalk. how do you kids say it...FTW ?

does anyone think in some alternate universe (or Russia) the pro bowl could become like the Razzies...and the worst players play a game for the sheer absurd indulgence.