"now that's embarrassing," said the Red Sox ball girl.

Colby has always been ultra-sensitive due to his cousin Parker' s legendary unbeaten streak.

I hate those "Buckner face" girls.

"I gave his pipe a shot. He did not deserve it," responded Minka Kelly.

"Have a seat, Kevin. I'm Chris Hansen."

"Have any seat, Kevin. I'm Chtr

Reports say he became frustrated after repeatedly requesting "laces out " to no avail.

"Mikey, I am telling you - condoms TAKE AWAY ALL THE FEELING!"

how do I get this chicken' s phone number?

"We were out doing some day drinking back in our early twenties. It must have been St Patty's Day or something. We ended up at a bar in a local urban ho- spot district. "

(The Flyers introduced black alternates two years later.) -"goddammit, they always win." - - Phil Mushnick

This is nice, but reminds me of the tragic frisbee incident that involved DMX' s dog and celebrating the rapper' s first gold record. #too soon,dawg

but has Broussard confirmed that Melo' s website was not hacked?

"OK, so that's Carmelo's contract. But what are the terms on the new deal we have to give JR Smith's brother to really nail this down?" — James Dolan

they should change the name to "on the lam skins" and make the mascot a condom — amirite??

TD 2: This Time He Decided to Make Footlongs

can we just agree on Kobe beef-y?

stupid question - but some Deadspin writers played sports? I assumed most were the dong editor for their respective high school yearbooks.

7:47—Andrew Wiggins jacket pattern looks like the map of Hawaii that my buddy House put on the rump (not ass, okay Disney?) of a hooker back in Vegas in 1998.... no, no, got to dial it back, Billy. It's ESPN. Save it for Grantland. Simmons NBA Draft Internal Monologue http://thefranchisecometh.blogspot.com

Related - Lincecum no-hitter under MLB review because he reportedly did not register with umpire as a sex offender