Let us not forget 2002 Secretary’s James Spader. Because holy mother of god...

No mention of how kissing strangers is wholly inappropriate, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator? That is sexual assault, and we would be enraged if the tables were turned.

“Your Grace, I know a good riddle, if you would like to hear it.”

Milesandre saying ‘you know nothing, Jon Snow’ creeped me right the fuck out.

Especially given that she had physical access to the (land) cucumbers in order to slice them. What did she think the seeds were? How drunk do you need to be while watching the discovery channel to make that kind of mistake?

Team baby.

Give me the baby. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get pregnant for 3 years. GIVE ME THE BABY! My wife and I will take the baby and love it and squish it and love it and the bad lady can just go fuck right off.

“Sanctimommy”? How on earth have I not heard this term before today?

Don’t you understand that expelling a child from your womb gives you a PhD in pretty much all child-related topics and gives you a new, enlightened view of the world that no one else could possibly have? Every sanctimommy on the planet knows this!

Natural (no color enhancement) blue diamond.

I was wondering. Maybe she’s Asian. Maybe her parents work at an aquarium or something?

My aunt “has” Morgellons. I “had” something similar in 2010. I was obsessed with ingrown hairs, to the point that I believed I had almost twice as much hair as I actually had, but it was ‘trapped’ under the skin of my scalp and therefore I had to free it with my fingernails. I waxed all the skin off my chin because I…

Some people are never happy. You don’t want us to torture wild animals. You don’t want us to torture animals born in captivity. It’s like you don’t want us to torture animals at all!

In theory, I agree with you. I think that the reasons for exempting churches from taxation are, at this point, fairly antiquated and no longer applicable. That said, there are a lot of churches which do really great, and really necessary, charitable work - and the way that America’s pathetic excuse for a social safety…

It happened to my male friend too! He was seated in the same row as an orthodox couple. Asshole had the aisle, woman had the middle, my friend hand the window.

How else can you exit ( the aircraft) pursued by a bear?!

Flying on a plane with your period is just irresponsible. You want to attract flying bears? Because that’s how you attract flying bears.

"Resting little bitch face."