If god didn’t want me to clean out my ears with a qtip why did he put a button in there that feels oh so so good when I hit it?

For some reason I’ve never had to worry about how long liquor lasts after opening the bottle.

The first half sound like boring job interview questions and the second half sound like job interview questions from the “fun,” manager, who “wants to see how you think.”

This sounds like absolute bs, made up “fact”. 

“it’ll wash away the concentrated fluoride in the toothpaste left on your teeth.”

For your edification:

what I want in my car is a dumb display and a bluetooth speaker system.

I’ll bring my own computation thank you very much.

Just burn the whole house and get a new one...like you do with spiders

And just what, exactly, is wrong with having a “boob” light? We have them in all four bedrooms in our house, which we’ve lived in for over 12 years, and not one person visiting has ever said a word. And believe me, there were plenty of people who would have said something. Just because you’ve judged them as…

Yeah, those are so tacky. I replaced mine with these and they’re way better:

Last time I did Thanksgiving I had 15 guests. At the end of the meal my daughter got me to sit down in the living room and one of her friends organized the cleanup. All the pots, pans ,roasting pan, glasses, plates silverware were cleaned and put away. The kitchen was spotless even the floor was swept.

Not that impressive, I want it to announce who it is and what they want - ‘It’s Derek, and he wants his ladder back’, or ‘It’s your Mum, she’s been on the gin and wonders why you have settled down like your cousin Tommy?’

LOL.  fitness has gotten way to complicated for anyone to follow anymore.  everyone has a different idea of what to do and thinks it is best

Or you tell them what I told my nephew when he was spouting Qanon shit:

I just bought a new house and I am about halfway through painting basically the whole thing.

One problem I keep running into, living in a deeply Democratic state/district - every time these “oppose Trump’s latest buffoonery/illegal action” calls come up - who am I supposed to call? Representatives that are already on the front line voting against him every step of the way? I need people from Florida, Ohio,…

“Putin noted that he is so confident in the vaccine that his own daughter has gotten it”

Yeah, the trails are too random. But isn’t it nice how the meteors came down between the trees? It’s like they were posing for the photo.

Mulva?

This happened to me a few times, then she reminded me of our wedding anniversary.