Right? This one tweet has provided me with layer after delicious layer of shade. Who knew Britney(or her people) could get down like that?

Since I refuse to do actual work, I googled it and it is the name of her tour. Well, “Britney: Piece of Me.” is the name of the tour.

Shady shade indeed. I’m not Iggy(Thank Jeebuz), but even Im thinking about this tweet HARD. It’s like I’m getting second-hand shade.

Karla Homolka is the stuff of my nightmares(the couple in general, but she was a league all on her own). The thought of her and Luka and her together? Terrifying beyond words.

I am SO sorry. I knew I forgot something when I posted that comment(a warning NOT to Google), but I got distracted by donuts. You deserve all the brain bleach in the world.

I have a theory. The reason Chet exists, is because there is too much awesome(and candy land goodness) between Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. The scales have to balance out, or the world folds in on itself. Hence....Chet Hanks was born.

Should I ask what does “Twat Mist” mean, or am I better off not knowing?

Hoe recognize hoe. It’s because of my inappropriateness that I am forbidden from buying bomb pops from the ice cream trucks in my hood.

Cradle cap is the reason baby skulls terrify the crap outta me. Nope.

“Infants are much smaller and more annoying and arguably less cute.”

Sluts don’t need Jesus. Jesus needs sluts. Jesus also needs to tell Bristol to calm the fuck down and stop talking for a bit.

There isn't a thing about this comment that I don't love.

They most definitely do and I want to have a booze, cheese fries and ice cream fest with my laminated list.

Same.

“Seat martyr.” Taking it and using it like I’m mad! Best description ever. Now if you have one for those that huddle by the door and leave the middle of the car empty....

I don’t have much to hold onto in this life, but the fact that I’ve never peed on myself, is something I’m especially proud of. Short of having a bladder problem, I just can’t understand that mess. And the number of adults I’ve seen in my fair city with pee spots(and leaving puddles in public) in the crotch region is…

Same thing has happened to me(me and my damn cute feet!) and im pretty sure mine are somewhere on the webz(can I get a cut?). Sadly, I would bet remaining ration of Thin Mints, that our guys aren’t the same. This is life in NYC.

The A train at Hoyt/Schemerhorn? That is the deepest bowel of hell. I make sure to take an extra Xanax when I have to take the train from there 3 times a month for work.

Right?? I’m sitting here wondering how in the hell can I style my hair like her’s. Lovely.

After seeing other comments, I can’t believe how unaware I was about birth certificates not necessarily telling the whole story. I get the occasional “oopsie,” but the didn't really understand how that little piece of paper could be so easily changed(even in more recent times).