See, at first I envisioned him as a vain, aging "hipster," but the more I thought about it, the more I think he's not. In my head, he wants to be perceived as "cool" by the woman he's trying to set a trap for, but in reality he's got "dad jeans" and a Z100 t-shirt. Plus all the emphasis he puts on money and space,…

"Have a beautiful, God-filled and musically-vibrational day."

Wranglers and promotional t-shirts

I'm starting to think that "launched gf's career" is code for "I need an excuse for why my girlfriends keep going missing." I mean the police can't find them if they're traveling around the world being successful and whatnot, can they?

You are a treasure and I want to read more.

He learned his lesson from girlfriends #1-3. Pretty sure he knows where all the "romantic" spots in the woods are. And by "romantic," I mean isolated hellhole where no one can hear you scream.

i agree with you completely. maybe this is my recent binge-watching of Forensic Files talking, but it seems like he's looking for someone that no one will miss if they disappear.

umm..I'll be over here tying my shoelaces, but you can go ahead of me. I insist.

So not only do I get to live in your bare, tiny-ass house, but I get to work, exercise and chat until the wee hours of the morning with you too? On top of all that I can't take a nap in "our" bedroom? Well sign me up!

I'm all for having a "tee-hee" moment, but fucking with your license so that it says "Eat Ass" at the age of 31??

A few things:

can we add Zooey Deschanel's name to the list? Trying to pronounce her name, always gives me a case of "marble mouth."

should not have read this while trying to hold in a pee(occupied bathroom at the moment). The laugh was worth the pain and crossing of legs.

i adore this man. He's the human version of a mini pig and Pygmy goat eating ice cream, while wearing top hats and booties. In other words...he is awesome.

I love everything your nephew has said! My personal favorite? "I love my daddy because he rocks my butt."

As someone who has once peed in a Coney Island subway BATHROOM, the fact that this actually exists, makes me both happy and pissed. Happy because it is truly beautiful and I know that if I ever had the chance to use it, I just know it will be the most satisfying pee of my life. Pissed because...CONEY ISLAND SUBWAY…

I sAw the Jason pics a while back and have been obsessed with her since.

Ugh. Whether or not one seeks revenge, is such a wobbly place to be. 19yo Gwenie sought her revenge( if you could call it that), many moons ago. One day that I was off from work and through a series of unfortunate events, I found out that my very first bf was cheating on me with multiple women. Not only were there…

your grandma is a force to be reckoned with. God damn!

As a tall person, I apologize. Let the countdown begin! I'm so excited, I even treated myself to a new dress.