My company sent mail a while back urging employees to register and providing a link with registration info. No mention of how to vote or any issues, just registration.

I'm going to ruin your poop humor: Dogs and cats navigate by smell. Poop (smelly, smelly poop) is their way of helping you find your way back home. So now your giant pile of dog doo has a sad.

Finally! I thank the cat for teaching her how to carry a bag properly — in the crook of her elbow, not draped across the forearm. God, that was insanely annoying.

I agree that there are aspects that the college is better equipped to handle, but I'm not prepared to give up on the legal system. After all, not everyone goes to college, and those who do spend only a small portion of their lives there.

You are not making that up.

Ah, Texas school food. Is there any other state which offers students "Frito pie"?

Being a geezer, I remember TV and movies presenting the big virginity question in terms of "do I love him"? Which strikes me as the wrong question. Who knows what love is, especially if you haven't been in love before? To me, a better question is, would you trust this person with an embarrassing secret? Because…

I love reading Miss Manners on the subject. "Should I tell my friend she's fat?" "Why? Do you think she hasn't noticed?" If you see something wrong with someone's appearance, the rule is that you can mention it only if the person can immediately fix the problem. Since no one is going to step into another room and…

Once upon a time, some 25 years ago, I was arguing in a forum that "no means no" and if a woman said no, you should stop having sex. Someone replied, "You know that there are a few seconds when a man *can't* stop, right?" Oh, well, then, that whole "no" thing just won't work.

The theory is that kids are going to drink, so let them do it "safely" with an adult present (for just such emergencies) and without needing to drive anywhere. The problem is that this doesn't actually produce children who have a responsible attitude toward alcohol.

I prefer "quit while you're behind."

King Arthur's Round Table in the 12th century? Laughable indeed...

Tom & Lorenzo suggested that she was trolling the paparazzi with that appearance. And considering it was right after The Wedding... My opinion of Jennifer Aniston is that she seems nice enough and I really don't understand why everyone is so fascinated with her personal life — but if this were true and she was…

The G is hard in front of an R but soft in front of an I. So, are you pronouncing the first letter of "graphics" or the first letter of "gif"?

A car in direct sunlight with the windows cracked gets dangerously hot. Children have died in similar circumstances. Her poverty doesn't make the situation any less dangerous. Does she deserve to have her children taken away? Probably not. Did she face some difficult choices? No doubt. But what she did is…

"Lazy"? Have you tried carrying a mattress around? That's hard work.

I went to high school in Texas umpteen years ago. There was a fuss about some school requiring boys to have hair above the collar and no facial hair. The local newspaper did a story about some of our students with beards and longer hair — all looking perfectly respectable and accomplished. So Texas is not uniformly…

Tom & Lorenzo already won this game: http://tomandlorenzo.com/2014/08/the-bo…

History nitpick: Jackson's legacy is not entirely sucktastic. He did campaign for universal manhood suffrage, which expanded voting rights to include all male citizens rather than just the property holders. So that was a step in the right direction.

Also, what if I'm shopping for other people whose interests don't match my own? Better to ask what product categories I'd like information about.