So there was a contest held by Coleco in 1983 when I was baaaaarely a year old and my mother, a deeply competitive and shallow person, decided that I was going to have a cabbage patch doll. She entered me in the contest, then started conniving for ways to get a doll by other means as well.

Christmas 1983 came and went, and no Cabbage Patch kids for us, despite my parents’ fervent trying (I was 6, my sister was 3).

This is how my mom got mine! Sort of. She taught school and one of the janitors approached her and said that his brother worked at a large toy store and if she was willing to pay in cash, she could get a cabbage patch doll. I distinctly remember my mom taking us after school that day, we drove behind the toy store and…

Better yet: Did you know that Samuel L. Jackson stars as the president of the United States in a Finnish action movie called Big Game? A rich psychopath has paid off the president of the United States’ secret service body man and has hired terrorists to crash Air Force One into the wilderness of Finland so he can…

I’ve been a supporter of Mr. Avenatti, but I take charges like these seriously. The jollies I get from watching Avenatti taunt the thin-skinned orange baby do not usurp my values and my decency. Therefore, I support a thorough investigation of these allegations followed by the appropriate course of action.

As a lawyer, I can say with 100% certainty that that is the most satisfying part of the job.

“Banks Violet Bair” Awww little Banksy.

When he called J Simp “sexual napalm” was that a compliment, like, she’s so hot she destroys me or was it an insult, like, she is like death in bed?

When you’re single: But when are you gonna find someone?

Honestly, I thought that one was the least scary - it was so caught up in flowery language that it obscured anything scary in the story.

Pretty much everything that’s out of the Trump White House feels like gaslighting and abuse. “If you’d just united behind me instead of having your own opinion, you’d have been FINE! But you had to go running your mouth like you always do instead of just agreeing with me. If you weren’t so stubborn, I wouldn’t have…

News needs to just call it what it is and stop pussy-footing around the issue. Donald Trump is promoting domestic terrorism.

The only way to stop them was probably a good guy with a pizza cutter. 

The last two years make me think we need to reevaluate the idea that it’s the good guys who are stupid.

You laugh, but I field at least one of those a day:

True that. I read the headline as, “Orlando Bloom broke up with Katy Perry earlier this year to try and fuck other people and then found out she is his only taker”. He was hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio and the “Pussy Posse” immediately after he broke up with her the last time. He probably prefers being number one…

I was okay until the little girls came out. Then I lost it. Us grown up ladies are battle-hardened already by all this shit, but it kills me to think of the next generation of girls having to live through more of the same.

I’m absolutely sobbing. I keep hearing how these “false accusations” are capable of ruining men’s lives. You know what ruins lives? Being raped.

LOL. I don’t know either of these 2 chicks but once again Elizabeth Banks comes out a winner

My other post was embarrassing and real-life, so I separated the one that’s emotional and possibly-supernatural.