A disheveled woman in slippers, jeans, and a winter fair isle sweater, JANE, reads these descriptions and despairs. She glances around her home, trudges to the stand of bottles by the window, and, with stunning elegance, opens and swigs from the illegal Cuban rum in one fell swoop. She ponders life in American society…

Alright, let’s recap the last few days between the two of us:

Holy shit! Tina Belcher is real!

I don’t have any friends. Stop making assumptions, dipshit.

Needs lowering.. I just fitted an air ride kit in photoshop

I’m going to have a stiff drink. At a bar. Where the debate is not on.

I live in Los Angeles, and from what I can tell, there is absolutely no buzz whatsoever to get one, much less two, NFL teams. We’re mostly just pissed about the increase in traffic this will cause. Anyone living in LA notice the same thing?

I remember working on the Pacific Princess under Captain Stubing. It was a pretty nice environment, the ship’s doctor was a perv, but I liked Isaac the bartender. The cruise director was kind of hyper, but it turns out she was pretty coked up. There was some brat running around too, but I pretty much ignored her. It…

The Patriots also lost to the Jets, and also no one fucking cares about the Patriots on an article about the Cardinals.

How are you going to fit a whole clown up your ass?

wow these people are freaks

She is one of, if not the, most important activist and academic of the last half century. Are Prisons Obsolete? should be required reading in every high school and for anybody employed by the prison industrial complex.

I don’t know the answer to the housing crisis, but moving to the midwest is at the bottom of the list.

I Third. (if that exists)

I Second.

Can I raise a motion to never include Seth MacFarlane in Tweet Beat ever again?

those bolds are all his. I wouldn’t presume to bold a man’s words with my Jane Popcorn keyboard, etc

If I had given the matter 15 or 20 seconds worth of thought