Apologies to Dave Hogan (great story!), but the "H" stands for "Haploid", as Jesus only has one set of chromosomes, the set from his mom.

FWIW from an unapproved commenter, my blurred image is a still of the "It's happening...", shit-in-the-street scene from Bridesmaids.

I think he just filled up on another crow. What's that carcass on top of the first rock Mr. Bear stands on at the start of the video? RIP, little buddy.

The layout on my tablet is mucking things up, but I think you're referring to the pic of the Adonis in the blue t-shirt. He is Sergio Ramos of Spain. His eyes are the ones that belong to those abs. Somehow, we started talking about Suarez, for whom Ramos is being mistaken.

I know! He has a farking eight-pack!

That's Carlos Bocanegra on the right. The photo is from ESPN's 2012 Body Issue. I wanted to link to it but I couldn't get it to work! It's worth the time for the Google search, though.

His eyes are up here, ladies! *sigh*

Edinson Cavani, Uruguay.

Oh, yeah, the Aub Zam Zam on Haight. I wonder if it's still there. I only dared go in there once because of the late owner's reputation but I had to try that martini. I made someone else order it. We managed to emerge unscathed.