Basically the argument boils down to, “Toughen Up! Having your boss whip out his penis in front of you shouldn’t derail you!” Which is itself ridiculous. But it also ignores the fact that even if women act “tough” and refuse to have sex or watch their disgusting boss masturbate, they get blacklisted and their careers…

You know how you can tell people don’t understand what’s being said, “Now I’m afraid to ask a woman co-worker to go and grab coffee. She might turn me in to HR as a crazy, rapist, sexual harasser.”

I do think it’s something of an age thing. Older women endured so much of this shit, and now some of them resent younger women who expect better. I experienced a twinge of this recently—I had my kids 10+ years ago and get very little maternity leave. It sucked, and I was very much in support of more generous laws and…

Speaking as someone who is no longer young, I’d like to point out there are a lot of patriarchy enablers rising up in the 20-30 something age category. It has a lot more to do with privilege than age.

You titled this wrong. If you want to go after liberal feminism, go ahead, but this is not about second wave feminists. You can find this kind of “feminism” in every feminist generation, including your own.

Let me see a goddamn wolf spider in my house, and I can tell you I’m not looking for a lighter, a shoe, nothing. I am leaving. Transferring all the bills to the spider and keeping it moving. We’ll both live in peace, just far far apart.

Wolf spiders may be large and scary looking, but they are harmless to humans and prey on nasty things like brown recluse spiders and cockroaches.

Unemotional is what toxic masculinity purports to be, but you’re describing what we all know it to actually be. It’s like a deadbeat dad that gives you long rambling lectures about Zen, discipline, and the path of the warrior, and then you watch him go ballistic over a parking ticket.  

The only thing I would disagree with from this wonderful piece is that toxic Black masculinity is “unemotional”. I would say masculinity, especially toxic Black masculinity is a state of being hyper emotional. We just are conditioned to bottle that emotion and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Love the article. I, too, am sick of homophobia in our community. I have two daughters and a son. I teach all to love themselves and their neighbors, regardless of color, religion, sexual preference, income, etc. Treat others how you want to be treated. Live and let live. Now, I also teach them to stand up to others…

Please show me the news story from a reputable source about a man who merely told a coworker, “You look nice today!” or held a door open for people passing through and is now being lumped in with people groping their coworkers, exposing themselves to them, masturbating at them, or raping them. I’ll wait.

Every single one of them appears to have spent their lives trading on their sexuality. A “little slap and tickle” is validating in that mindset. But guess what, the rest of us don’t want to and shouldn’t have to live our lives that way, Catherine.

It’s called coolgirlitis. It’s unfortunately catching.

Also they are all very “cool girls.”

“Rape is a crime, but trying to seduce someone, even persistently or cack-handedly is not, nor is men being gentlemanly a macho attack,”

I’m not a “poor little thing” because I don’t want to be harassed. I’m not objecting to it because I’m not strong enough to endure it, I’m objecting to it because it’s bullshit that I shouldn’t have to be subjected to.

“Rape is a crime, but trying to seduce someone, even persistently or cack-handedly is not, nor is men being gentlemanly a macho attack,”

Maybe they need to be reminded how the Maginot Line was penetrated without their consent.

I wonder if part of this is about women who would rather believe they were seduced than assaulted. It’s often easier to act like you were a willing participant than accept the reality. And if you are a woman of a certain age, it had to be damn near impossible to escape predators.

There are always Serena Joys willing to throw other women under the bus for their place in the patriarchy. Nothing’s changed. Cool girls abound.