I think I have a whole series by this author!

*Reads article*

My dad is a marathon runner and used to pay me $1 to rub his feet when I was a kid. I remember being sort of fascinated with how weird and gross his feet were. He was missing his baby-toe-nails, and frequently others would be purple. He also had no hair on his feet.

I like pedicures and sandals, I will never run.

All these things and the comments are why I only run if I’m being chased by grizzly bears.

Tell her if she loves your scar so much you’d be willing to give her one twice as long anywhere she wants it. Then do the dragging the thumb across your neck thing for good measure.

Now I feel like you’re online flirting with me.

Indeed. I enjoy yoga. If I wanted to do yoga in infernal heat, I would step outside and perform the same poses in this large scale oven we commonly refer to as Florida, thankyouverymuch.

Yes, but can he copywrite the idea of torturing yourself in 105 degree heat while strangers spray you with sweat?

Those children are going to be physically beautiful, which will do exactly nothing to mitigate the mess their lives are because of these adults.

Weren’t there mostly crackers on the Titanic?