“Both of these artists remain insufferable.”

As a penis- haver, I’m going out on a limb (or a baby’s arm clutching an apple, as it were) and say that is not a real dick.

I’ve got to go with #DoesHeLickItFromTheFrontToTheBack. Cuz I just can’t deal with another UTI right now.

I can.

Somehow I just can’t picture Taylor being willing to do....that with her impeccably manicured fingers.

Because bacteria is absorbed through skin.

Oh for FUCK’S SAKE. All these new birthing and child-rearing trends are fucking out of control.

Honestly, not everything that is natural is good or useful.

I saw this on last night’s tweet beat and when you could we not i immediately thought of it.

I, too, was confused by Rizzo and Kenickie’s exchange in the car as a young catholic boy. However, it took me a very very long time to realize that the thing that Kenickie was carrying around since the 7th grade was in fact a condom. I thought it was a ring. Like a wedding ring that he was going to give her so they…

But possibly not the fingers that have been up Kanye’s bum.

I have a friend who was a bit of a fundie. Refused to have sex before marriage. She was so fucking desperate for sex, though, that she married the first guy to cross her path.

I don’t know, I was pretty impressed with the Sack and the Beancock one. Maybe it didn’t make his balls exactly beautiful but the dude built an entire diorama around around his testicles. That is amazing!

Pity not the balls for they toll not for thee.

I don't know. I support Ducks in hats.

I had a dream when I was pregnant that I gave birth to a duck. Everyone was fine with it and it was normal, I just carried around, a duck. The duck had baby clothes and it had a little hat. Pregnancy does some weird shit to, basically, everything. Run away.

Those ripe child-bearing hips and expectant breasts remain ever-vestal, a false promise that keeps those hordes of men panting and clambering to have her.