let me tell you about reverse mortgages

And there go the last remnants of Better Off Ted. So sad :(

I think I speak for all of us when I say: Oh come the FUCK on!

If you make a sandwich, toast the bread before you eat it. Adds so much flavor, texture, and happiness to your lunch.

OH NO I SWIMMED OUT OF SWIM

It’s NOT fantastic. Identity theft is not a joke, Millions of families suffer every year! MICHAEL!

I do believe that’s why people do this in the first place. And I further believe most kids understand it this way already.

He should have Czekaj’d himself before he Wzekaj’d himself.

Whoa whoa whoa, Michael. Settle down.

I’m going through a divorce right now, and it feels like whether or not we get along changes on a daily basis...I wish there was a clear answer to this question.

Get out.

Lordy, they’ve ony been together for two months, and she slept with B before she and A were officially together. She should tell A exactly what happened, and how the experience made her realize that all the desire she was feeling at the time was for A, not B. And how happy she is they they are together now, and that…

Putting your cash tip on the table and visibly docking it every time the server displeases you

Most of my “do I have to” list is sarcastic (“do I have to justify what I do on my own time with my own money to you just because you don’t personally enjoy it”, that sort of thing, which comes up a lot for me with my more unusual hobbies.)

But the one that gets under my skin is when I’m in a relationship and I’m doing…

If someone believe they’re tournament ready, it’s safe to assume they have a switch and won’t need a loaner. I know people hate microtransactions, but having a pay to unlock every arm might not be a bad idea.

what was the alec baldwin quote? hats are for closers?

Trying to trick the other robots, I guess. These robots look autonomous, so they’re probably trying to mess with their camera/laser sight mechanisms.

When I first looked at the GIF I thought I was seeing fighting typewriters*, which made it even crazier.