I wouldn't go that far.

I'm probably a medium sized piece of shit at best. That being said, I would probably have a full acorn or something equally sharp protruding from one of my sides.

So cute.

I'd immediately agree to suck his dick, then slice it the fuck off and choke him with it.

#problemsolved.

And before you get all "oh, well he will just kill you..." No. This isn't a Liam Neeson movie, If you cut someones dick off they would immediately go into the fetal position.

Of course I have sex. What else are you supposed to do once the spanish fly kicks in and they are all passed out on your couch?

Woah woah woah, I didn't say attractive, I said cute. big difference.

Stephanie Seymore is attractive, a retarded asian baby is cute.

WINNER

So... Are we doing this cannibal/werewolf sex party or not?

You can't get a guy's hopes up like that...

You're so cute.

I wish women on the internet would threaten to rape me. I would make special e-business cards to send out to each of them with instructions on how to get to my house.

I believe a nerd with a micropenis would get more attention if they ran naked through times square yelling "HEY, CHECK OUT MY MICRO PENIS!"

This big

Only an expensive 'gourmet' pizza place.

Because those hipster assholes had it coming.

Woah woah woah, Just because I like to fuck farm animals doesn't mean I condone incest.

No.

I'm not say any of that, you just don't know when someones fucking with you.

Do I?

Why does everyone assume if you are wasting time on a thursday at 4pm you are automatically in your parent's basement... Wouldn't it make more sense that you were bored at work?

Win? Too much time? I've been here for 15 mins and it is hilariously entertaining.

Look how many losers took the time to actually respond to me, I've already won.

I would never threaten to rape any human woman...

Livestock on the other hand...

Oh I don't care if anyone believes anything I say, You must be new.

No. Your reading comprehension is just very poor.