I'd rather be a big sloppy curry flavoured diarrhoea... is it too late to change?

How did you get that I'm a spineless coward for informing you that 14 year olds who tell people they are going to rape them won't actually do it?

I feel sorry for your husband.

This is also something I've never understood either. You're just hurting some poor delivery guy/girl

I don't know why, I'm not defending the rights of morons who say they are going to rape people on the net, I'm just saying they won't actually do it.

Also, You don't have to go to all that trouble, I'll send you my address, you just need to give me yours so I'll know where to send the box full of body parts after my…

Ethics and grammar

I'd be way happier for my dad if she spent every day actually swallowing. That dude kept her in a sweet lifestyle for the last 50 years, its the least she could do.

You must be new.

That sounds hot. If you're not restricted to virgins I'd like to volunteer for that.

If I was going to pizza prank someone, I would pick a much more expensive brand of pizza.

But why would I ever tell someone I was going to rape them?

Rape is so 2003, haven't you heard of Tinder? Getting laid has never been this easy.

Just a public service announcement to you over sensitive feminists out there looking for men to hate...

Oh yeah, possibly.

So weird, why no audience?

Some of her jokes were funny but just fell flat as a result.

Wait, what?

That Brian Murphy guy thinks pretty highly of himself and the media...

I used to be a sports writer and I can tell you, the only thing sports writers 'help' is to fill out a newspaper that nobody was going to buy anyway.

I'm a man and I was excited for this movie until they announced that Melissa McCarthy was in it.

They had a chance at a hit until they added that beached whale, Melissa McCarthy.

I was kidding, but I have had a similar reaction from white girls in the past when they find out I've dated a few asian women. Again, I grew up in an area where there happened to be lots of asian people in the community. in a few cases it's been along the lines of. "Oh, you've been with asian girls?..."

Just so you know, strippers hate when women show up to strip clubs.

If you bring your girlfriend or your female friend, one of the dancers or floor ladies will be sent over to try to remove the woman from the floor area for a private dance for a reduced fee as it distracts away from the ladies who are working.

So a tip…

But, I twas always told that once a white woman goes black, she never goes back...

God damn!