The escaped clones of Roger Daltrey and Sally Jessy Raphael appear to be getting on well in the screenshot above. Can’t say for sure though, because I had to hit STOP on this after about 3 minutes.

Carrot Top needs to dial back on the steroids.

I dated a woman years ago who worked in housekeeping at a local hotel. It was difficult, dirty work, and she frequently came home with stories about customers that were just plain nauseating. (And this was at one of the nicer hotels in our area.)

I am telling you now. Please do not refrain from pooping in Joel Osteen’s shoes.

“Fuck the Mayweathers”? As in, the entire Mayweather lineage? Seems a tad hyperbolic.

‘90s nostalgia from Toy Matinee, in memory of a dear friend recently passed who loved these guys. Miss you much, Rob.

First time I heard a recording of my own voice was when one of my cousins got a little portable reel-to-reel tape recorder for Christmas. To my utter horror and disgust, I discovered that not only did I look exactly like that little dork Ernie from My Three Sons, but I sounded exactly like him too. Sheesh.

I had a client years ago named Harold Dick. He always began his phone conversations by saying, clearly and plainly, “Hi, this is Harry Dick...” The guy was obviously so done with all the bullshit about his name, and his self-confidence was contagious inspirational.

“Vice President Mother Fucker.”

“You know how gross old men smell?”

Damn - even a BABY statue gets his little private part shined up from all the grabbing. People are so fucking weird.

Stick ‘em all in one big museum of stupid. Call it The Cracker Barrel. Done and done.

Sebastian Porka.

Kudos to these artists & performers, and every other public figure who sticks a middle finger right in the face of this national abomination. Including Tina Fey, who was ON FIRE tonight on the Weekend Update summer show. Another SNL instant classic.

Good God! I’ll never whine about getting chewing gum stuck in the living room carpet again, I promise.

“By the way, could someone please remove this old bald guy from my crotch? Thanks.”

“I don’t got nukes, but I got one a’ these for ya!” *plorp*

Oh damn, Jonee, that takes me back.

Whee! Haven’t heard this in ages.

Who’s a happy lil’ guy?? Pao’s a happy lil’ guy! Yes you are!