You’re right, that does have a certain rhythm to it. I miss Douglas Adams.

When I wish upon a star, I wish for the day that useless, delusional attention whores like this guy will be left silently pissing into the wind, with nary a line of press coverage to inspire the next one. Is there even a remote chance of this ever happening?

One day Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges found Derek Jeter lying in a big pile of horse poop in Central Park-

Jesus - I just watched Manos last night (again) - this guy looked just like The Master.

And dream. And fart. Oh, and dogs can play poker.

“That’s a whale of a dick.”

Wait, shoulda tried this first - Here it is!

That was the name of that article, right?

There was a hilarious parody Beatles interview in National Lampoon magazine back in the ‘70s where one of them mentioned, “All those girls screaming, mouths agape - just wanted to dive-bomb ‘em with me dick out.”

Go Melvin, go Melvin, it’s yer birthday...

Hee! Even the dog looks mortified.

My favorite part of the Sagan clip was at the end, the photographer in the orange shirt with the upturned palm - the international symbol for “What the fuck was that?!”

Still funny.

[cue Bugs Bunny GIF]

Yes indeed. Besides, I sincerely doubt that these doggie-dogs have been specifically trained in the act of “pressing it into the dirt with their buttholes.” That remark puts a taint on the veracity of the entire article.

.

“they make me feel like the break is setting me up for something witty i can’t deliver on”

McMurray did a PIT maneuver on himself.

.

“God - I HATE it when this happens. I will never get used to it.”