HAPPENED:

That means more than 12 hours of football Sunday for many of us.

There is no such thing as quinnophobia.

Seahawk fan, Oregon alum.

If you could have anyone else's sexual history and present (memories of it, booty call possibilities, all of it), who would you choose? Justin Timberlake? AC Green?

If this girl doesn't win a Pulitzer, I'm done reading for the rest of my life.

Sadly, his hand speed batting is even worse than it is dealing with hecklers

I love Dirk, but everyone knows his wife had plenty of reasons to stop kissing him.

His original suspension was only 6 games, but Selig bumped it to 8 after noting that even with a 60 foot head start, he still didn't knock Greinke's skinny ass over

"Wait, coaches can't also be a daddy?" —Karen Sypher's leg

This marks the first time that ESPN has ever sent out a memo to their staff that didn't end with "Also, please stop banging each other in all the break rooms, Berman's pretty pissed he's not being included."

Literally NO ONE in Phoenix is surprised. Jermaine O'Neal is the oldest little child in the history little children.