When I was about 9 I decided I wanted to make some brownies by myself, I had a box of Betty Crocker brownie mix and I start making it. Well, at some point I realized that we didn’t have any oil, we did however have a bottle of italian salad dressing. In my mind, I thought using the oil from the salad dressing was a…

Last night, guacamole with fried egg. It did not end well.

Well, at least your brother always knew cheesecake is a pie.

Oh - I got this won.

When making egg salad once, I realized after I had already boiled the eggs that I was out of mayo. I elected to try using Caesar dressing instead.

My little sister was five years old when she accompanied my grandmother to one of her art shows. About halfway through, little sis walked up to grandma and says, “Mamaw, this lemonade is gross.” It was what was left of her second glass of champagne.

I had A LOT of what I thought was tomato and mozzarella cheese at a fancy hotel breakfast buffet. Turns out I was just eating tomato and cream cheese.

This is during the weekend where I met my (then) girlfriend’s family for the first time. I was exposed for the yokel that I am.

Remember folks, this is just an exhibition, not a competition; so please, no wagering.

Yeah.. She’s somebody who’s opinion is of critical importance:

No. Josh’s parents sent him to talk to Jim Bob’s good friend, the state trooper who was later convicted for child porn. That was part of the “counseling” as was Josh hanging out and building houses for 3 months with their friend the remodeler. No therapy for anyone: not their not-so-precious daughters or their…

Here is an explanation of that ruling.

True. Per Diem is not taxed.

I work for a pro sports team, the meal money on my paystub is for the team cafeteria (we pay a couple bucks a day for catered breakfast and lunch daily). I’ve been at teams where players pay for meals at the facility daily and others where it is seemingly included (I don’t know if they are being charged on their…

John Travolta is the finest thespian that has ever lived. All of you ingrates criticizing Lord Travolta OT VIII are going to regret it very soon.

It’s actually pretty incredible how some prisoners make tattoo guns. I was watching a documentary where this guy had made a gun using parts of a pen, a few rubber bands, and a sharpened guitar string for the needle. He attached the motor from a cd player to run it. They would burn newspaper and catch the smoke in a…

Yeah, I don’t need a reminder of how sad and dreary it is to have one’s primary relationships be with a noncommittal windbags like BJ Novak. I mean, he’s gotta be the most overpraised millenial of our time, and it says bad things about Kaling that she’s attracted to that.

Exactly. A “complicated friendship” that will last until he marries someone who isn’t her, and then all emotional hell breaks loose.

Wasn’t there already a book exactly like this called He’s Just Not That Into You?

Jesus Christ, over ten years?? Mindy, honestly, move on. You can tell she still loves him, and he knows, but he’s still THERE knowing what she wants and knowing he won’t ever give her that. Sometimes you need to leave so that people move on, otherwise there’s that stupid, stupid hope we all know.

More power to them, and for those of you who enjoy reading these types of things, knock yourself out, but this sounds like a terrible, terrible book.