This is a much nicer version of the story of the growth in ultramarathons than the one in my head: borderline sociopathic overachievers doing the most impressive sounding thing that still makes it clear they have a lot of money and time to blow. That story might be lurking in this one, too.

Mooching war widows!

As the kids say, “NOICE”

Oklahoma Minnesota is about as Southern as North Dakota, Inhofe.

I thought “Bless your heart” had replaced that as the go-to Southern expression of outrage.

You have to first dust those dismembered bird mothers and fathers in flour so that the beatened remains of their unborn children adheres properly.

One time to prove that Frank’s Red Hot makes everything taste better, I once dipped an apple into it.

Wait, you mean having pineapple on pizza, or the debate about it?

That's not a Pain Elemental, that's my wife!

Just a friendly reminder that this insufferable dickhead makes $10,300,000 of tax payer money per year while a citizen in Alabama working for minimum wage for forty hours a week would have to work 683 years to make that amount. Fuck you, Nick Saban. 

It took me far too long to get the joke.

Tough draw for Arsenal.

Bill Welke referred you to the rulebook. The rulebook is correct, not the announcers.

If that’s the definition of a bunt, then that’s an outstanding call.

+1 course credit at Southern New Hampshire University.

And as we all know “technically correct” is the best kind of correct.

Yay, I found a sane person!

I’m honestly as tired as the “John McCain was a terrible terrible person who no one should say nice things about” pieces as the “John McCain was last of a rare and noble breed of American statesmen” pieces. Dude died just yesterday, and in my universe, it’s still poor manners to interrupt other people’s mourning with…

Just heard that my alma mater doesn’t have a freshman football team for the first time in....forever. Not enough kids signed up. Glad to hear it.

I don’t think this Ureña/Acuña feud is even close to over, let’s at least wait tilde end of this series.