I know literally nothing about Arkansas except that the way it is spelled is very misleading to how it is pronounced.

Hanging out in Arkansas sounds worse than going to rehab, honestly.

Definitely Not Miss Piggy

up next we take a Bentley Mulsanne speed offroading in Moab

It may be for medical resaons. Knowing your parents’ medical history is important for diagnosis and prophylaxis. Some countries have a paragraph that says that everyone has the right to know their origins. Mothers who know the name of their child’s father but don’t want to tell them can be ordered by court to do so.

ALLLLLL DONE!

If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

spinach is a wonderful replacement for lettuce in a salad or a sandwich.

HE WILL ALWAYS BE TONY.

Am I the only person who watched Skins?

Ha. For a split second I thought the cat did it on purpose. So less “hero cat” and more “unlucky cat”? #teamdogwouldhavecaughtthatbulletinherteeth.

I seriously hate most “regular” salad because of this bullshit. Withered greens, bitter, underripe veggies, a drenching of what might as well be cake icing? Just eat a damn burger already.

Someone mailed a library book in a frozen pizza box with smears of toppings still inside. The library displayed it in a cabinet at the entrane with the sign “How not to return a book”.

yeah, had to deal with a hotel guest once who was a complete asshole. like asking to have porn charges taken off his room every day during his stay because “obviously he didn’t watch it, it was a mistake, he turned it off after 2 minutes” (dude, we know that’s not a “mistake” and now we know why you are alone) and…

A decent smoke screen to try and show that the Mexico-US isn’t racist as fuck.

I’m certain that attaching the card to the wallet via rubber band instead of something more secure was absolutely intentional.

THE CAPTION

I would do anything for meatloaf, but I won’t do that.

Ah. After the last the last couple of weeks, these stories are sooooo satisfying. This:

Upon my return to her table, she meekly asks me, “Can I have a glass of ice, please?” Wow, my first please from her. ...Wow, a thank you, too....she finally figured out not to screw with restaurant servers. The best part, they left a huge tip too, well in excess of 25%.