I went from level 47 to level 50 farming Killavolt and still do not have a Brainstormer.  Something is screwy.

“You’d better use the force field you used with that bird, you big nerd because these hands are coming hot and ready.”

“I got a pressure point for ya pal, it’s called your throat and I’m about to punch it.”

He is also the only man to know what it is like going through life subsisting only on garlic bologna sandwiches and diet RC cola.

The guy is a hero for standing up for what he believes in, in the face of an oppressive government.  The fact that he beats up Tai Chi dorks is icing on the cake.

I’m not concerned about it because if some dumbass wants to climb into a lion habitat, more power to them.  I support your life choices, friend.  

Could I interest you in this moldy buttpiece of Jim Carrey’s Grinch costume instead?  It’s only the butt and most of the hair has fallen out, but it only costs 3,000 bucks.  YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

Looking none the worse for wear, I must say.

Technically, so was dropping the man off off the roof.  He may have been dead when he hit that garbage truck.

Gentlemen, let’s broaden our minds!

I’m hoping my boys Donkey Teeth, Fudge, and Jackmarius Thackteratrix all get some time in as well.

He’s looks like what would happen if Uncle Rico in his prime and Michael Biehn had a child together.

Dammit! Hoisted by my own petard.

I’m gonna leave it there, though.  I deserve the shame.  I DESERVE THIS.

Yeah, but if you put them in salt, you can eat em later. The formaldehyde tastes funny.

Found the Philly fan.

Was he even in his booster seat?

I was hoping it would be an empty can with one lone bean at the bottom.

I used to pick random people out of the audience and sing “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” to them.

It’s not a Weird Al song, but my best friend and I used to close out karaoke night at our local place with a ROUSING rendition of “I’m On a Boat”. If we were with friends, we’d tell them goodbye before we went up to sing, go…

I cast “Greater Ressurection”.

To be fair, his umm...imagination had probably already been captured by other things in the magazine, then while doing a post-imagination capture look through the magazine, the board games took their turn.