I bet you can’t wait to Basque in the glory of all those stars.

Sports are a great metaphor for life. This video proves we can all just Catalan.

I wouldn’t say they are football illiterate. They’ve learned a lot in the three years they have rooted for the Seahawks.

God...I always fucking hated [MLB player]. Can’t trust that son of a bitch.

Charizard wants to hate fuck you behind the dumpster of an Arby’s. Dragonite is just in the club to dance, rolling, and has no idea what you are talking about.

Nice to have the Michigan nuts spending a little time at the ol’ Deadspin.

Aubrey decommitted when they addressed the thank you note to Drake.

Quantity of Jets quarterbacks = 4i, where “i” represents the imaginary number you would have to multiply by four to even produce one good quarterback

Fitzpatrick says he is still trying to understand why, in this particular equation, 1+1+1+1=n<1.

How about CTEball?

A hundred years ago an angry Austrian man didn’t get into art school and we got Hitler. Eighteen years ago an angry Austrian man got puked on. Dan, you’ve fucked us all.

So does the fact that he merely played high school sports make him sufficiently privileged to make him, his lawyers, and the judge appropriate targets for an online shame campaign? I’m struggling to see how this is a story of national importance. All it will do is stoke the flames of keyboard social justice warriors…

I can't stop laughing at the tweet replies and I don't feel bad at all. Harambe can't laugh anymore though :(

It will, of course, play havoc with setting your lineup for your fantasy football team. But: no one cares about your fantasy football team.

I am sorry I became the big bad Pissboy. I am now the Swimmin’ Prince and the big bad Pissboy for I have brought my body’s water onto the land in a shameful way. In the water land where I live, one must only smile and relax and allow the piss to flow from within. We live in the piss pools and we die in the piss pools.…

I’m totally cool lying to a foreign government, especially a corrupt one. His allegiance is to the stars and bars, not crooked ass Brazil. But, man, if it’s true he did it to keep his chick from finding out, that’s a bad look. There are levels of chick you obstruct justice over. Kate Upton, Emily Ratajkowski, Betty…

I think the NFL was just as pants-shittingly terrified of him as everyone else. He makes the Wu Tang Clan look like something to fuck with in comparison.

wut

I wasn’t aware Clay Matthews was black and disliked...

Hold me closer tiny dunker