Johan Franzen scrambled his brain at the expense of one of the best and coolest playoff goal scoring runs in recent memory and capped it off with a Cup win, the least this team can do for him is let him collect a pay check for his efforts while he sits on LTIR and doesn’t even count against the damn cap. I’m sure his…

“What, do you need a SAFE SPACE, you whiny liberal SNOWFLAKE?!?!?”

* approves of giant wall, buys thirty more guns, terrified of Syrian eight year olds *

No, see, he’s most definitely a CEO who has earned the right to take an afternoon off.

“It’s a caricature”

Screams get a job while also not being at a job.

Good guide. Another tip - put your phone and computer away. They’re best not accessed whilst tripping balls.

Write the following notes on pieces of paper and put them in your pocket to open when you need them.

Why I’m Leaving New York essays are the most annoying pieces of writing to me. It’s a place. Live here or don’t. Literally nobody cares, and your personal decision about whether to live here or not does not make or break the city.

Empty like a box full of cornstarch packing peanuts.

Same. Watched Season 2 of Love over the last weekend, now I’m like, “what now? Sigh.”

I love this show! It reminds me of Seinfeld—if Seinfeld had a diverse cast that was representative of NYC and its cast was actually likable.

ABOVE: The last two weeks of hockey coverage distilled into one post.

Goddamn.

He was making acid wash jeans.

Is it safe to assume we collectively opened the wrong envelope in November?

Uhh he didn’t call the movie. She did. He was showing her the card out of confusion. He literally reached into the envelope TWO MORE TIMES to see if there was another card in there.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

Meanwhile, Olympic-level trolling inside:

“You can laugh at me all you want” always, ALWAYS, means “STOP FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME.”

As a cyclist who generally follows the rules I see this shit goes both ways. Plenty of asshole cars on the road the implications are just vastly different. Everyone needs to just practice a bit more patience. I was crossing on foot at a cross walk with a stroller holding my nephew and was almost run over by an…