Scoot over.

It's Monday and the boss is looking for you. Again. Did you know your pants are on backwards?

Not if you're you're banging her.

I want to know who they killed to get those clothes.

We only want to understand this emotion you call "love".

Are you guys just going to throw them away? Like in a dumpster? Which one? I'm asking for a friend.

I had a similar experience with "Air Bud".

I'm sorry sir, but you're still going to have to pay for those.

BigTimeStudioExec: "Treasure Island? You're thinking Pirates of the Caribbean. No, for Avatar we're just reshooting old Dick Van Dyke Show episodes. "

While Warrant's "Cherry Pie" blasts from Dan Rather's phone.

A surgical procedure to remove the tumor named Goyer would fix this problem.

Home Shopping Network?
Guarding a mall food court?
Branson?

Wasn't there some kind of earthquake that brought them up from the depths of the Earth? I'm sure it was due to global warming or whatever we're calling it now, but it was definitely our fault.

Oh, I don't know. What are we talking here? A moon-pie and an RC Cola? I can make that happen. Get that sultry tramp in here!

…his dick in his other, other hand…

Leia: "I love you"
Han: "Oh crap. You're not pregnant, are you?"

Wrist beads and cigars.

Hey Gully, don't worry. You're first in line for the Harry Potter reboots which should start filming in…5…4…

"carefully constructed snappy dialogue"

Hollywood, "HaHaHa! That's hilarious! For a second…you're serious? Wow, I had no idea. I'm sorry. This changes everything. I need some time to process this. Thanks. I'll be in touch."