They're not but I am and you need to eat more fresh fruit. Thanks.

Pirates 5: The Curse of Depp

God, I hope not. Citizen Kane sucked.

If the article is accurate, this game seems to be about playing dress-up with your favorite superheroes then mashing buttons with the frenzy of a masturbating chimp.

Maybe but Tom Cruise says a lot of things that aren't true such as he can read minds, he can heal people with magic, he's over 5 feet tall, etc.

So, it's an Expendables reboot?

Wow, a gritty lawyer/cop procedural set in a big city with plots ripped from today's headlines? Who comes up with these original ideas? Hey, maybe somebody could do a show about people who do crime scene investigations next. Or maybe a show set in an emergency room.

Once you get your Evil Drivers License you're pretty much done.

Is that a drunk text? I've read it a few times and I think I know what he was trying to say, but it's not funny. Or is it supposed to be? Wait a second. I just remembered that nothing that has gone into or out of Rob Schneider's mouth is of any use to anyone.

TURN IT UP!!!!

To borrow the words of a great thinker:

They tried and tried but even the recorded sound of laughter wasn't laughing.

All the reboots have me confused. Was she the chunky guy with the metal arms or the screaming blonde who spits a lot when she talks?

Ugh. Do they know the cameras are on? This is the show? Really?

"Young Sheldon"?

And more realistic characters.

Whatever. Just keep therm both on DC Film projects! Please!

Can't we just drop Michael Moore on Trump? Two birds with one turd.

Does he mean it's sexist because they hired a female to play the part of his beastly progeny?

"This summer, Zac Efron is POPED! When a clerical error turns a hard-partying frat-boy into the head of the Catholic Church, it's time to party like it's the end of the world! Because with this guy in charge, it just might be!"