I hope every single person who voted for him gets everything they every wanted.

It doesn’t matter what happens tonight. The story is this:

Strap in man. American politics are going to get worse. You think your racist Tea Party uncle is gonna chill the fuck out after Clinton wins? Or do you think he’s gonna shit blood and scream his fucking head off until 2020?

These are a bunch of scared old white men who horde guns to protect themselves from blacks, Muslims and Mexicans. There won’t be a violent uprising because that means they’d have to go outside where there could be blacks, Muslims and Mexicans.

Hillary is way more of a mainstream republican than trump ever was

Easy. Your country is full of terrified, racist, sexist assholes.

Black president

I’m sure they’ll declare it over and over again on message boards far and wide. And then they won’t do anything in the real world.

Baylor fans have proven themselves to be serious challengers to Penn St fans’ title of “Fans Who Just Don’t Fucking Get It.”

this might be the first call of duty in years where the campaign is more interesting than the multiplayer.

I believe so much in “America” that I cry foul when you don’t stand for our national anthem, yet I will threaten to overthrow the government if the election doesn’t go my way.

Speaking for absolutely all white people - after a rough year (trump etc.) I’m really glad to hear we got this going for us.

Adults in youth football and a man-baby running for president. Good times America. Good times.

I’m 29 and I can not tell you how many times I’ve daydreamed about going back and playing little league, not as a kid, but as an adult. I would fucking dominate and feel a power that I’ve never felt before. Imagine getting a 40mph floater right down the middle and taking it deep, rounding the bases while staring…

Best. Pickup line. Ever.

Better than the Falcons and their brief slogan “Weak Dogs Get Drowned”.

Best. Soccer game. Ever.

Blair Walsh is masturbating to this game right now, filled with self-loathing.

No matter how this game ends, never forget Pete Carroll is a 9/11 truther piece of shit. Fuck that guy.

Ironic that it turns out Pete Carroll was a sleeper agent to ruin football all along.