No, because “she has a family,” but she’s also going to the office everyday, so casino workers should go back to work. 

My daughter has been buying press on nails for $5 at Dollar General. It gives her joy.

I quit getting my nails done last summer after a nasty fungal infection, but I’ve been dying my hair since I was in my early 20s, and I’m now 41. After the initial shock of letting it go grey, I’m kind of enjoying the rest between colorings, and I’m curious to see what it actually looks like. I know I don’t need an…

My friend did the same thing. He married in his early 20s to a beautiful girl, but they were both toxic alcoholic assholes. They barely made it 2 years, and she was pregnant when they started the divorce. He admitted that if he’d been able to have sex with her that he never would have married her. I think he married…

My 16 year old daughter will vehemently disagree with you that a Big Time Rush reunion is not in order. I would think that given the average age of their fan base would be about 16 and looking towards a summer of isolation, exactly now would be the time to reunite, and has nothing to do with piggy backing on One…

The Willis kids were raised in Idaho? This is the new information to me. Did they go to school there? Or was that like a summer home? In Idaho? Is this a common West Coast destination?

With her hair down, she looks just my daughter’s friend. Daughter disagrees, but I’ve watched that video at least 5 times. It’s mesmerizing.

Counter headline: Gwynth Paltrow refuses to donate her old clothes to charitable auction. Selfish hoarding bitch.

Lady Madonna was such a terrible choice of song. I’d take the obvious “Yesterday” or “Hey Jude,” even and “Amazed” by Wings. Elton John was the worst though. I had to fast forward when I got to his 100th, “I’m ‘til ‘tanding.” Made me grateful that I didn’t spend the $200+ a ticket to see him this summer and then wait…

He would if he got them for free from the local law library and needed to decorate his office. I have random Southwest Reporters that I inherited from the lawyer who had this office before me mixed in with a few law school books. I do not abide by decorating a house with books for appearances. You should already have…

As a lawyer who works for a lawyer, Tom didn’t “volunteer.” Denise is smart enough to know he wasn’t being generous and she sure as hell doesn’t want to pay whatever he’ll charge. $$$$

I was lucky and caught it coming on after Wheel of Fortune, so I set it to record. My 16 yo and I will use it to torture my boyfriend all weekend.

I interpreted Denise’s attitude in that she thought she was being funny by putting on a condescending affect in order to downplay that you look like an asshole when correcting a waiter, but she was irritated enough that the funny didn’t come out, and she was an over the top asshole for correcting the waiter. I’ve…

Buy her a case of Trader Joe’s Charles Shaw. It is exclusively what I am drinking during isolation. If I like a $3.49 bottle of wine, it’s hard to go back to even a $12 bottle.

When I’m trying not to get drunk and/or watching my calorie content, I add soda water to pinot grigio. 

Skipped the article and went straight to the comments for some reality.

Started playing it as soon as I read the headline. It’s so familiarly good. I’ll listen through at least once maybe twice, but I know I’ll spend the rest of the day returning to Extraordinary Machine. And how did I miss that she dated Louis CK??

I don’t have this much energy to be jaded about Beyonce joining in on family disney karaoke night.

My boss complimented me on how much she loves my hair now that it’s turning silver. She’s 77. I’m 41.

At first I thought she was in the background laughing at his jokes during Weekend Update, which would have been better than the canned tracks.