My parents met when they were 13 years old at a birthday pool party in Whittier, CA. My dad’s first words to my mom were reportedly when it started thundering and he said, “You’d better get out of the pool, Phyllis, or it’s going to be struck by lightning and then you’ll fry.”

My mom’s office had a UPS driver who was a sarcastic pain in the ass. One day she couldn’t find a seat at a popular fried chicken restaurant during a busy lunch hour. The UPS driver was there and offered to let her sit at his table with him, promising not to talk to her. Luckily they did talk, and they’ve been married…

If anyone with the name Markle has planned out the headlines by day it’s the piece of shit father and half sister...

Oh no! Having gone to ALICE, now I think everyone should, because active shooter situations happen all the time, and places like schools are soft targets.

Lovely portrait of a red boy with white sox!

Hey does any know know what happened to Jinni? Drugstore glasses?

Having a rough patch in my marriage. Any success stories of making it through (without divorce)?

I am excited about Robyn’s new album, so here are some other vocalists I am crazy about:

It’s a lovely dress but if you have to ask if it is too white then it probably is. I’d go with a safe bet and not wear anything that is at least 50% white. Just think of it as a gift to the bride, why even dress in a way that might upset her if you have the easy option of wearing something else? Personally, I would…

I am with you. I thought that an Anthropologie wood-elf-princess dress vibe would be the right flavor for Scottish Highlands wedding.

Ooh I love the idea of a blue slip!

Maybe I’m also old, but it looks more like something for a night out clubbing.

That’s a gorgeous dress, and if the bride approves, who cares what anyone else thinks?

The advice on not wearing white for weddings is still sound, but I think black is no longer taboo. It’s become a pretty common color for wedding parties to wear, and if it’s okay for bridesmaids and groomsmen, it should be okay for guests too.

I also judge people who wear really attention-grabbing outfits to other people’s weddings. You have literally any other day to look like million bucks, but this is the day where the happy couple should be the center of attention. If that makes me an asshole, I’m cool with it.

I owed you for your pronunciation guide to Taoiseach, which I have for years tortured an Irish friend with my butchering thereof. As their family has known several of them, it keeps coming up in our conversations and I kept getting corrected since I couldn’t for the life of me get it consistently right before reading…

I totally agree about white. Black I think is ok because it’s a classy neutral; I don’t think people are generally perceived to be mourning just because they’re in black. Red is tough; I have a red flowered sundress that I’d totally wear to a wedding; it does not say look at me like Sophie’s red does. 

I think that’s what bothers me most about her outfit. It’s so “look at me” on a day that’s not about her.

These were my exact thoughts re: Sophie’s outfit! Super cute but maybe not for a wedding and also I’m officially old. 

My grandmother was a seamstress and she often said that as a guest you never wear white, black or red to a wedding. Not white for obvious reasons, not black because black is for funerals and not red because it draws too much attention on someone else’s day. It’s sound advice and I have followed it.