Show me on the doll where the women won’t touch you.

The dude you’re jawing with basically lost out on an opportunity to a creator of color in the past (in regional theatre, if memory serves), it broke his fucking brain, and now legitimately every problem in the country can be magically traced back to “DEI” and “social justice.”

“You can thank the progressive wing of the democratic party for this fubar situation.”

Cool, you could have just said “I didn’t watch the clip.”

love when people defend 200 million dollar movies they couldn’t possibly have even seen yet.

I can’t unhear Jack Donaghy with, “Logging is the deadliest profession in the world.” I half expected Tracy Morgan to pop in.

Or she is just an asshole. Hard to separate out all that 

“Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the transphobes!”

so a win for them becomes less about improving the future and more about making it worse for the people they hate.

Look at the end of the day you have the VERY VERY real possibility that a facist, sexist, and racist leads the country and opens the floodgates for laws that will take away people’s rights, punish women and make it harder for anyone without a billion dollar bank roll or dark skin to have any real life.

YES I have…

If Trump gets back in to the White House, American democracy is over.

That went worse than I even considered, and I’m a pretty negative guy.

Yeah, this sucks. I was literally just earlier trying to show someone my #1 moment in Daily Show history... where Aasif Mandvi is interviewing a North Carolina GOP chairman who’s sharing some racist thoughts and Aasif finally looks at him and says, “You know that we can hear you, right?” It’s still the top search…

Seriously, why must repeatedly acting like a sack of shit give a guy a reputation??

Wait, so this isn’t a movie where Aubrey Plaza’s character has ass replacement surgery but then regrets it and goes on a quest to recover and restore her former ass?

According to his fans, it all started when his daughter, Violet Grohl, criticized Taylor for using her private jet, which led to backlash from the Swifties. Let’s dive into this interesting discussion.

I don’t think anyone with a chronic illness is surprised by any of this. People love to ask how you’re feeling so that they can congratulate you on being brave/a fighter/etc when you politely just say “fine” and downplay things. People don’t like when you actually acknowledge how much it fuckin’ sucks because that’s…

RIP The Daily Show’s live studio audience.

could he be any more pugilistic?