Things sure seem to be falling into place.

For fucks sake, don’t want an abortion..........don’t get one!

None of my dystopian novels predicted rouge park rangers leading the resistance on Twitter. . .

That is certainly their calculation, but it’s still based on the idea that he is a controllable entity. If they still believe that, and also that the majority of Americans are going to put up with this shit indefinitely, they are deluding themselves.

He’s a useful idiot until such time as he costs them seats in Congress.

The rest of the world’s leaders should follow his example and just refuse to meet with the great pumpkin until he regains touch with fucking reality.

And like . . . what does he even mean? Is he implying that the CIA was up at Langley on a Sunday (doubtless) watching the game (huh?) and then standing up and applauding Manning when the Broncos won (what??)? And that that information was relayed to him? And that there were at least 300ish people at this Super Bowl…

Gabrielle, are y’all gonna cover his crazy fucking interview from last night where he said he got the biggest standing ovation since Peyton Manning won the Super Bowl during his speech at the CIA? When I first read it, I literally thought I had clicked on a satire column. No. He was serious.

“There will be a payment. It will be in a form, perhaps a complicated form,”

“There will be a payment. It will be in a form, perhaps a complicated form”

Such special snowflakes. The entire country is turning into a dumpster fire but at least they are still pure. *vomit* They are the physical embodiment of the “This is fine” dog.

BUT THEIR HANDS AND CONSCIENCES ARE CLEAN!!!1!

BUT HER EMAILS! Right Bernie Bros and Stein-heads. You can all go burn in hell for the part you played in making this nightmare a reality, fuck all of you.

Hahahaha we’re all gonna die but at least it will be because of decisions made by people with no experience #draintheswamp

BUT HER FUCKING EMAILS

Yes! I can feel sorry for her and still think she is not that great of a person.

I hollered at this because it’s horrifying accurate. I PRAY for a GWB to save us right now. Lol

I thought he was a great choice for this monologue, I am a fan of Ansari. He is insightful and cutting but just so gosh darn nice, his humor, even about tough topics, makes me feel like we’re all going to be just fine.

Aziz’s bit about G.W. Bush in his opening monologue cracked me up. “What the hell has happened? I’m sitting here wistfully watching old George W. Bush speeches? Just sitting there- ‘What a leader he was!’ 16 years ago I was certain this dude was a dildo, now I’m sitting there like ‘He guided us with his eloquence!’”

Correct. It’s not like we cared how many people showed up at Dubya’s inauguration compared to Clinton’s. For all their flaws, they were men that were about issues (in Dubya’s case, mostly the wrong issues, but still). Trump is about image.