Someone should tell that reporter that showing up to Area 51 in a red shirt is probably a bad idea.  

Used to be a time when the staff would actually read the comments, and sometimes even come and play. Since they decided to double down on mediocrity, the policy from up top seems to be avoid the comments because we’re mean and say things like That’s Not True and Guys, Seriously, Spell Check.  

Sandwich, I trusted you!!

No, but I have a story about one. I used to work at a gas station as a cashier. One day, it was very busy. Suddenly, the tempered glass in the door shattered! POP!! I looked over and it was fully shattered, but still intact. I honestly thought I was being shot at, but I didn’t want to appear panicked, so i just sort…

never mind.  totally misread that.  no snark here.  move along.. 

Two things: One, that window is crazy expensive, and very likely doesn’t belong to any of the parties involved until the second day.  Two, it’s not worth it.  We live in the future.  Work from home.  No need to cause $1000+ in damages in a panic to get into a fishbowl.  

Yep, it’s gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon.  

This is the big takeaway for me. Everybody had a snarky solution, even though all they had to go on was a picture of the corner of the office.

It’s Rennsday every day in Heaven!

I hate the word homophobia. It’s clearly meant to emasculate the bigot by implying that he hates homosexuals because he is afraid of his own homosexual tenancies rather than any genuine belief, but it’s nothing more than a cheap tactic to change the terms of the debate. It would fit right in on FOX if it wasn’t…

The killer was the friends we made along the way.  

No. A phobia isn’t a casual thing, but for a culture that monitors language hyper-vigilantly, we sure do like to toss it around.  Most people do not have a clown phobia.  Most people are full of shit.  

No.  Actually no new pronouns!  Just a clarification on what we already knew: They and Them are perfectly fine as gender-neutral pronouns, and there is no reason to invent more.  

Honestly, “They” and “Them” have been working pretty good for me for my whole life even when there were only two genders. The tricky one for me is always Sir. I say Sir as a sign of respect, not a representation of gender. There is Ma’am, but nobody likes to be called Ma’am. (Save the Gif, I’ve seen it.) If we need a…

Moby also bit Jeff Bezos. 

Nothing is impossible, I suppose.  Lots of things are incredibly unlikely, and one of those things is a long-running television institution hiring comedians off the street with nothing but an audition and faith.  

Marketing. If they thought they could have just announced the new season, they’d have done that. But SNL has struggled for relevancy for the last 20 years. They are riding a high now because President Easy Target makes parody practically automatic, but by and large, SNL is not funny and they rely on stunts and…

I’m just flummoxed by the number of people that think SNL “missed this”. They didn’t miss shit. Why would they miss what took Twitter zero point zero seconds to discover? Do people think Gillis sent in the SFW (lol no racism) audition tape and Lorne was just all Hire Him? Do they genuinely believe they didn’t Google…

Yes. It was so recent and easily discovered, too.  It’s almost as if they knew about it and hired him anyway.