I keep riding my bike past his house demanding my $2, but so far I got nothing.

I just got my sweet monogrammed varsity jacket in the mail yesterday.

I missed my online claim deadline and had to print out my comment history in triplicate then run down to the local ACORN* office to file a paper claim.

I hope I win the trip to Cuba raffle this year!

I’m only 500 Soros Points away from the dune buggy in the catalogue so I’m kinda depending on it

Jelly of the month club?

I thought we’d get holiday bonuses after the year we’ve had but nothing!

Did everyone else get their Soros check this week? Mine must be running a little late.

What a truly dreadful world we live in where Donkey Kong cheat and hot sauce-magnate Billy Mitchell is only the second worst person with that name.

Gonna avoid spoilers for Steven Universe even though the episodes dropped on the CN app and just say, “OW ! PARTY GUY! NO!”

I’ve watched that clip so many times, it’s one of my favourite things ever.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE? INSERT CREDIT CARD NOW!

There’s probably some law or something against that. But if you were to drop by his office and knock his stupid fucking coffee cup on the ground so it smashed, and said it was an accident, I bet you’d get away with it. Petty, sure, but with that sweet plausible deniability.

They’ll just use it as an excuse to cut fucking food stamps

Not only do I agree with this, I have no difficulty at all hearing it in Bojack’s voice. Which I will soon have to pay an extra $15/month to hear, plus the doubled rates Netflix will institute to make up for getting extorted by ISPs.

This can only mean one thing, coal jobs are coming back! Fuck yeah!!!

And they’ve fought tooth and nail for the ability to do it...because they just like having the option, I guess?

Sharing gifs while I can still afford to do so.

Where are we supposed to go?? Outside?