I want proof that someone can actually understand that marble mouthed old prick.

Dinabol Under the Influence? Probably out celebrating crab leg day.

This smells like another Ryan Lochte episode. Does anyone know if that hammy is telling the truth????

I misread the name of the race as the “Vulva a Espana”. Shame on me.

Pink eye from the brown eye!

Still the skinniest thing that got fucked in Buffalo last week.

I pray for a day where I can throw a ball over a fence.

Only if you got the diabetes. Right Wilferd?

Why can’t all of these notes be in Comic Sans. It would be much more powerful.

Manti Teo sees nothing funny about this story.

Creatively called “aggressive editing”.

The best part was at the end when they told everyone to reach under their chair seats to find a pair of used panties! Yea Tokyo!

Meh. Hope Solo’s got a bigger dick and she hates homeless kids.

Vison Quest 2 - Lunatic Mongolian.

“If I got busted every time I whipped my dick out and pissed all over a building and then got in a fight with a security guard, I’d stop going to family parties.”

Purdue alumni turned cops are the worst.

It's not enough to pick the words, the NFL wants to pick the puppets too?

Lochte sounds like a big enough douche that he could captain the lacrosse team.

Michael Phelps would giggle, but he has no emotions.

My favorite part of the whole thing is that is warm up is a Golden State 2016 NBA Champions sweatshirt.