New AV Club column: "No Fucking Shit, Internet!"

You can't spell "grift" without G-R-F!

Hey, spoiler alert!

"Koffee Kake Junior, next stop! Have your tickets and passes out, please."

I live near Philly and I don't know which train station you're talking about. Unless there is a bank out there named either "30th Street" or "Suburban."

Patton Oswalt has a bit in one of his stand-up specials where he talks about auditioning for a part as the, as he put it, "GAYYYY BEST FRIENNNNNND!"

Where the hell have you been?!?

Good point. It helps that Fink and Eraserhead have the same hairstyle.

And how about some love for John Mahoney as the Faulkneresque screenplay writer?

Hooray!…Question mark?

You no nuts! You're crazy!

Speaking as one of their commenters, we're not as bad as you think.

Oh, big whoop. How hard could it be to hunt them? They're all, like, 100 years old!

Even a slave-banging colonist can be right once in a while. Plus he invented the swivel chair (for reasons that we need not go into here)!

I believe it was Thomas Jefferson who once wrote, "I would rather watch ten guilty rapists perform improv than have one falsely-accused rapist banished from the group."

If you consider the second and third "Rambo" movies as the fever dream of a dying John Rambo, as he bled out slowly on the floor in Trautmann's arms at the end of "First Blood," they actually make much more sense.

Or Section 31 from DS9.

Jesus, I remember that as one of the few "Homicide" episodes I watched when it aired. It was gut-wrenching (pun somewhat intended).

You're assuming the human race will still be around in a few months? Look at Mr. Optimist, everybody!

The first one, of course, being Slimer. The ORIGINAL Slimer!