I do I do I do-oooooooooo

Ulta is like a really nice CVS minus the diapers and pharmacy and snacks. They should look into the snacks thing. Then I might go inside one.

To Sarah Koenig: Can you like, not?

Can attest to this personally. Ate crayons as a small toddler while still in diapers.

Reason a billion why no one should ever go on Twitter. Or spawn.

Oh, 'scuse us Azalea Banks. Didn't know you were a card carrying friend of the gays. Continue with the slurs. Nice life.

because asking the officers who supervise visitation to actually observe and prevent the exchange of contraband is apparently too much?

Photos of family members and their deceased relatives military headstones really get me in my feels. There are a trove of images out there and they all make me cry, although I haven't seen one as powerful as this in a long time.

why can’t they unwind like normal people and get stoned instead?

It's going to be a full scale Big Bang Theory.

Pot, meet Kettle.

I plug Anastasia Beverly Hills on here all the time. Their DipBrow pomade is my favorite thing ever. $18 dollars for a paint pot that lasts well over 6 months. Just make sure you keep the lid on tight so it doesn't dry out. There are some brushes in the 18-23 dollar range as well that are the best brushes I've ever…

I can’t find the tutorial but I remember seeing something floating around on pinterest for saving smashed makeup. It involved taking some plastic wrap and covering the make up and smashing it all into a powder, you put some drops of rubbing alcohol to cake it up again and smooth it over and let it dry, it’s supposed…

Two months ago I gave myself a second degree burn on the top of my left foot. A rug burn. I have scars on both feet because it was not the first time I've experienced this with Chalupa Batman.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK I WILL BE A MISS UNTIL I'M AN OCTAGENARIAN I HAVE A VERY YOUNG FACE.

sometimes I get called ma'am and I just want to die. like, I am 29. ma'am should be relegated for use for women over the age of 75.

The only time I've ever heard my parents addressed this way was when they were fighting with a customer service rep on the phone and could tell it pissed them off because it reeked of condescension. And like, mind your own fucking business and if you make people address you with Ms. (Last Name) or expect that you…

I legit have 80 dollars in the bank and I am donating.

Method. Not even once.