Threadjacking doesn’t work. Find the tip thread and leave it there and if they don’t report the news you want you only have like the whole entire internet to find it elsewhere.

That snapchat filter is pretty much universally flattering and yet somehow Lindsey Lohan makes it look bad.

It looks like all his chin and neck got moved up onto his fivehead.

It’s probably still in her name. She might’ve handed him the keys but I bet the pink slip is in her name or even one of her businesses names.

I was 11, just started 6th grade. I had done book reports on her since the 3rd grade. I thought she was so beautiful and seemed so kind, she made me want to grow up to do humanitarian work. I came out to the kitchen in the morning and my mom told me and asked if I was okay since she knew I liked her so much. I…

ISIS-spect he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Oh biscuitbabe, I’m so very sorry. Hugs to you today and every day it feels this hard.

A guy with facial hair like that couldn't be anything less than a gigantic turd.

True story I used to work for a door to door vacuum sales company and one day knocked on her door and she answered. She has a very nice house if she still lives there and she was very nice to me which was a serious deviation from the norm of how people usually responded to me trying to let us in to sell them an…

Notice I said nothing about the accusations against Roethlisberger and only mentioned his bullshit rhetoric. But glad we can agree the Steelers are bullshit.

Caveman speak is my favorite way to emulate all NFL QBs. It has to be at least 60% accurate.

Can we get away from the false equicvalency that not standing for the pledge of allegiance is the same as simultaneously shitting on the graves and in the mouths of people in the armed forces? Kaepernick has the right to not stand and express dissatisfaction with this country. Unless it’s coming from a white old dude…

My father raised my sisters and I on Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Gene Wilder always had a really special place in my heart, seeing those movies now connects me with dad who’s since passed away. Seriously bless Gene Wilder, he was so good in so many ways.

‘already has a stadium’

So you’re telling me Christmas is cancelled?

Uncle: ‘Obama is waiting til the last 6 months of his presidency then he will take everyone’s guns and declare martial law and refuse to give up office.’

finally.

The still on the video reminds me of how my old roommates bf would greet her. She’d be hanging on him begging for a kiss while he was trying to get away from her so he could kiss his dog that she watched all day while he was off doing who the fuck knows. So, in other words, this show looks sad as hell!

ilu

There’s a ‘Wheels on the Bus’ joke in there somewhere but I’m tired from listening to my fuckface neighbors commence boning at like 4 am so someone else do it for me pls.