My roommate in college text me one time asking me to not come home for a little while so her and her boyfriend could fuck in our living room. I wasn’t even planning on coming home anytime soon but my response was something like, I have to hear you have sex literally every time he sleeps over so can you just not fuck…

Sextina Aquafina?

Yeah I guess ketosis is like a very mild form of ketoacidosis so we were both kinda right haha. Any diet that advocates bacon is good in my book :)

I think you're confusing ketosis with ketoacidosis. Ketosis isn't bad for you.

Thanks fartgod.

Aw babe, sorry about your MIL. Hugs.

I read things like this and it makes me ponder the whole concept of love. Like it is a complete mystery to me that we spend our lives seeking out these attachments clinging to the hope that they aren’t ripped away from us in a senseless tragedy. I love Chalupa Batman so much and I get into these sad cycles sometimes…

He figures if she can put up with him telling the media he'd fuck her, your average American woman wouldn't mind a little grab ass in the workplace.

My first thought was ‘Ok, who is going to let him know?’

But he'd be great for women, guys!

I go to games regularly and could not tell you the result of a single match. The park is so good you don't even have to watch the game to enjoy yourself.

Ed Sheerhan is the Rita Ora of gingers.

I mean you're invited too so...

Also great: it's a thousand degrees in San Diego and I got invited to a pool party

Chalupa Batsister will be there as well. If you see a 39 year old dude drinking beer out of a flabongo you'll probably see her nearby

He looks like a swarthy Howdy Doody

First read through went: ‘assholes get hairs’ and I thought ‘that sounds itchy’

*checks face with hands*