Can we talk about the profile pic on that Twitter bio for a moment? I’m not normally one for plastic-human-shaming, but that is some Anchorman-level live embalming going on there.

Why does he have tusks suddenly?

I read this as Mystery Car Takes Tires and was confused how nobody would know what car was removing wheels from other cars on the highway.

Free burnout!

As my friend in Texas would say..........there was tar on the tars.

Somebody’s rental car wheels were stolen?

Worse day than mine, and that’s saying something. I walked outside to this on my way to work this morning.

Finding a specific Subaru in Portland. This should be fun.

Obviously he was a fan of Fords with theatre seating lol

If Abraham Lincoln were still alive today, he’d have just celebrated his 209th birthday. So he’d be driving a Buick like everyone else his age.

World’s fastest motorized log. Lincoln Log

This completely unaltered tintype proves it:

All-American. Lawyer who grew up in the back country. Needs to somehow project both dignity and that man-of-the people vibe. Extra headroom appreciated.

A Mark IV of course.

Lincoln Continental. Because his name, and the whole keeping the continental US together part. Also, he is tall so convertibles make sense. That said, he was also assassinated, so maybe not the best idea.

I present to you the Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham with Monticello VELOUR! Just look at how lovely this is!

Mercedes has 3 models (E-Class, S-Class, S Maybach) that are all equivalent in terms of autonomous technology with more comfortable interiors (including better interior features for pampering yourself). They’re all better than the S Class for when the driving isn’t really driving at all. The BMW 5-series is probably…

Sir, I applaud your choice, for it’s craziness. May I recommend a more sensible Marauder.

Ha, ha. The quilted leather in the picture looks like the blankets they line elevators with on moving day.