I make a point of playing each new Pokemon game in precisely the same manner I played Red twenty years ago: I rarely try to catch more than one of something, my team consists entirely of the Pokemon I think are coolest-looking of the current gen, I couldn’t give less of a shit about EVs or IVs, and if I had my…

A pizza-grease-soaked box that should not survive one night lasting for eight would be very on-brand for the holiday.

Why is this motherfucker approved & not grey? It’s a piece of shit troll that needs to be shut down.

Please take your bad-faith whataboutism and cram it into the nearest orifice.

There are two problems with Stadia.

It’s milk . . . with 10x the caffeine of a latte!

So you’re saying that the dairy industry needs to product Fight Milk. 

Also, soft drink sales have been declining for years but you don’t see Coke or Pepsi declaring bankruptcy. Instead, they just tricked everyone into buying energy drinks and colored water. You gotta pivot, Dean!

Trevor Cadbury was unavailable for comment. 

“Marion Nestle, a food studies professor at New York University”

Yes, but dammit, we COOK with it. Let’s see you make all your lovely baked goods, sauces, and mac n cheese dishes without it!

Splinter was a damn good website.

Tom died in a car accident and wouldn’t you know, Kate received a heart transplant. The heart was Tom’s. Last Christmas, he gave her his heart.

Emma Thompson CREATED this mess. She wrote it, and is also a producer as well as starring in it. It’s all her fault!

Nonsense. Melania knows how to raise children. After all, the greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she may not harm, nor allow by inaction to come to harm, a human being. The second-greatest principle in Melania’s life is that she must obey all orders given to her by a human being, unless such orders would…

Fitting, and absolutely true:

I was going to post the same thing! My parents have a full set. They are quirky and fun. 

I really wanted a Johnny Switchblade Adventure Punk toy in my Happy Meal - he looks just like the Fonz! 

You bigoted cunt. Useless worshipper of trolls. Mad at the world mouth-breathing maggot. Contributor to nothing. Circular glop lacking ability or charm to escape the event horizon that is your black soul. You comment on forums with people you hate to feel importance and the sense of self worth you desire and crave.…

THEY HAVE SHUT DOWN USERS WHO HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT SPANFELLER INCLUDING DEADSPINRIP AND SPLINTERRIP