“No it’s in dog years. His age only goes up every 7 years.” - An idiot named Ryan

Easy Barry, the dog is just self conscious about its age. My ex has been 29 for the past 3 years. It’s a thing we indulge because we are nice people. It is like how my roommate’s parents lie about how many years they’ve been married so he doesn’t know he was born a bastard.

Go right. Further right. Completely out of bounds. Further.

If there is a “Trump” audible, what do you think it is?

Down 14 or more, take an intentional safety.

Throw it to the dumb white guy and hope he doesn’t run backwards?

Yes, because they lasted so much longer than you’d expect with Cheeto Benito at the helm!

It seems that a merger and a large infusion of cash—together the two companies have already gone through numerous venture capital rounds and raised over a billion dollars—is the only way they will stave off insolvency.

The good thing is they aren’t stuck with this failing business model for an entire season, they can choose a new one everyday!

You would never actually end up fighting him, though. He would stall as long as possible by constantly complaining about how Professor Oak has clearly rigged the entire world against him and that since it isn’t a fair fight, he doesn’t need to fight you at all.

Oh it’s absolutely not just you my friend.

Real question: Is it me or has the product of this season’s NFL been just awful? Like I can’t think of more than a couple of games that were even decent. They all just look like amateur hour punctuated with tons of ticky tacky calls and commercial breaks for Beer/Daily Fantasy.

That’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt

Someone forgot to tell you that those soups are awful and taste worse than a heart attack

Yep. He’s always tweeting between the lines.

This logic I understand. I often ask myself, if Jeffrey Dahmer hated boys so much, why did he eat them?

Look, I’ve heard a lot of things about shorts. I hear lots of people say that they’re comfortable and easy to wear, I don’t know.

“Women are tired of being lumped into one group,” said Madeline Deluca, a 67-year-old retiree from Staten Island. “All women [against Trump] who read Fifty Shades of Gray, who listen to rap music, Hollywood stars who sexualize themselves in movies—they’re hypocrites.”

Best two sentence horror story I’ve read in awhile.