You would never actually end up fighting him, though. He would stall as long as possible by constantly complaining about how Professor Oak has clearly rigged the entire world against him and that since it isn’t a fair fight, he doesn’t need to fight you at all.

The solution is obvious. We’ll build a giant firewall, and make Russia pay for it!

Oh it’s absolutely not just you my friend.

Real question: Is it me or has the product of this season’s NFL been just awful? Like I can’t think of more than a couple of games that were even decent. They all just look like amateur hour punctuated with tons of ticky tacky calls and commercial breaks for Beer/Daily Fantasy.

When an solar eclipse would happen in the past, philosophers would tell people a dragon was eating the sun, and suggested they make a lot of noise to chase the dragon away, which helped inspire development of fireworks and gunpowder. Maybe if we stop using fireworks, the dragon will come back and eat the lizard…

Can you belive I’ll be dating Baron in ten years? Incredible!

That’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt

Someone forgot to tell you that those soups are awful and taste worse than a heart attack

I’d nominate you for hero of the day if that website would only resolve! Damn the lizard people!

I had a team of detectives working around the clock. Got ‘em going in shifts!

You’re considerate AND you have a sense of humor? Marry me and let’s have all the babies. Not one or two… ALL the babies.

Just make sure its not on Shabbos.

Close, but there’s only one answer:

isn’t this a Dr Who episode?

No 10-year old. No 10-year old. You’re the 10-year old....

As a millennial…

This logic I understand. I often ask myself, if Jeffrey Dahmer hated boys so much, why did he eat them?

Look, I’ve heard a lot of things about shorts. I hear lots of people say that they’re comfortable and easy to wear, I don’t know.

“Women are tired of being lumped into one group,” said Madeline Deluca, a 67-year-old retiree from Staten Island. “All women [against Trump] who read Fifty Shades of Gray, who listen to rap music, Hollywood stars who sexualize themselves in movies—they’re hypocrites.”