You would never actually end up fighting him, though. He would stall as long as possible by constantly complaining about how Professor Oak has clearly rigged the entire world against him and that since it isn’t a fair fight, he doesn’t need to fight you at all.

Oh it’s absolutely not just you my friend.

Real question: Is it me or has the product of this season’s NFL been just awful? Like I can’t think of more than a couple of games that were even decent. They all just look like amateur hour punctuated with tons of ticky tacky calls and commercial breaks for Beer/Daily Fantasy.

That’s the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted, and I once ate a big heaping bowl of salt

Someone forgot to tell you that those soups are awful and taste worse than a heart attack

Yep. He’s always tweeting between the lines.

Only because he’s so addicted to the success....

Meanwhile, Hillary has only been married once, so obviously she hates men

Flawlessly done. My hat’s off.

This logic I understand. I often ask myself, if Jeffrey Dahmer hated boys so much, why did he eat them?

Look, I’ve heard a lot of things about shorts. I hear lots of people say that they’re comfortable and easy to wear, I don’t know.

“Women are tired of being lumped into one group,” said Madeline Deluca, a 67-year-old retiree from Staten Island. “All women [against Trump] who read Fifty Shades of Gray, who listen to rap music, Hollywood stars who sexualize themselves in movies—they’re hypocrites.”

I just heard that his hotel here in DC had to lower its rates because he and/or his kids realized that no one was going to pay a minimum of $750 a night to stay at a Trump property. I think anyone with a half a brain in this city called that months ago when word came out about the going rates. He’s at best a mediocre…

Good call.

I’ll just leave this here...

He has such high regards for the sanctity of marriage that he did it three times! That’s three times more regard than someone who is only married once! Did I get this right, Kellyanne?

“If [Trump] hated women so much, how could he be married three times?”

Jesus Fucking Christ, I’m surprised you made it out of there alive!

Best two sentence horror story I’ve read in awhile.