Good thing you put that * in there or else I would have known you said a naughty word

Not to be outdone, Donald Trump went full Hermione Grainger last night and told a crowd of Nevadans that it’s pronounced “nuh-VAA-daa.”

“I can see Santa Fe from my house!”

His tongue is inside his mouth, so improvement?

The makeup Oscar goes to whoever manages to make Patrick Stewart appear as if he actually aged.

Except this is Trump, so a medium-ish handful would only be a fry. At most.

It must be hell for him trying to organize his pictures. “This one was taken at some point in the last 40 years, but I have no idea when.”

“Number One! Lock phasers on that vessel!”

Could have been one hell of a BCO story.

Trump: “Ore... Ida?”
Aide: No, sir. It’s “Ne-VA-da”.

Who the fuck is such an asshole that he sends back fries?

Can you imagine how tacky he would make the White House if he got elected?

The man failed miserably selling gambling, football, and steak.

Guys. Guys? Guys.

Well thats a given but Florida Man has different flavors, like Meth and Lottery Tickets, Meth and Dismemberment  by alligator, or Meth and Necrophilia :) 

So in other words: be bad at what you love doing and you’ll never work a day in your life because you’re banned by the government?

When you are really bad at a thing and you love doing that thing so much that you can’t stop, there’s no limit to your potential amount or severity of failures.

It’s gotta be Jerruah. “This is my stage.” Sounds exactly like something he would say.

I keep oscillating back and forth between “It’s gotta be Jerry” and “No it can’t be Jerry that’s way too obvious”

Well thats what happens when you program your driverless car to drive the same as the local residents. It drives like an asshat like everyone else.