I have internalized the Gawker ethos (snark) and state of mind (bleached asshole).

Jho Low is not linked to J Lo according to Le-o, but Lilo says yolo while eating a ho ho and this is all a no no.

Hello!

He should get it mounted and wear it on his pinky finger. That’s what I’d do.

Suggestion: All women who ever consider being associated with Donald Trump in any way, ask yourself this question first.

The secret is “kittens.”

“I won an Emmy for playing a woman dying of leukemia on L.A. Law, starring Harry Hamlin and Susan Dey.”

You disgust me.

You are a fucking monster and should be vivisected for the good of society

Lochte was quick to point out his new sponsors, which include:

Which is a shame, because he would be the perfect spokesman for the new Tempurpedic “The-details-are-escaping-my Memory Foam” mattress.

Gladiator is dope.

I’ve been married to my roommate for 16 years, so if she’s going to kill me at this point, I probably did something to deserve it.

And Gladiator still holds up pretty decently

The lesson here is you need to get Univision to pony up for a television show.

“Here, be distracted by this while we data-mine your phone.”

Fuck you. You don’t deserve anything in the way of token compliments.

While the app promises many more features in the weeks ahead, right now it’s a half-assed exercise in complacency.

... Colored People