Please give me a Tails where you can grab characters while flying and just drop them over the edge.

Jon Gruden: I Get A Ton Of Calls From Players Who Are “Dying To Come And Play Here”

New for 2019: Needing to increase Gen Z awareness, “Post Offices” will now be “Yeet Offices” and Twich will do a 72-hr live stream of people dropping off packages (Yes, the office will be closed for most of that time, but off-duty letter carriers will stay up all night to flip bottles and eat Tide Pods or whatever).

My rule is: if you knock on my door and aren’t holding a pizza, the door stays closed.

Where in Texas?  I voted in Dallas county this weekend and there were ~10 uncontested races for a Democrat, and only 1 for a Republican.

Those are too tame for 2018, try these:

If you build a Florida, they will come

I mean, she said something slightly critical of him one time, so she’s definitely on the enemies list.  Or she would be if he could read or write.

PLEASE DO NOT CONFUSE WITH PANTONE COLOR: “Nuclear Man From “The Simpsons”

I feel like there should be a website setup with just this countdown on a black background.

NHTSA needs to admit what the issue really is: if school buses go driverless, what do we do when we get to the verse “The driver on the bus goes...”

“Somebody broke into my house and stole my electronics. I should totally burn my house to the ground”.

YER A WIZARD, [PLAYER NAME]!

I assume the other half is from week old gas station hot dogs (the most American food)?

To be fair to Nebraska, if I were getting shellfish from Nebraska I probably wouldn’t eat that either.

Also, as a clearance holder, giving perjured statements would be a career-ender.*

Ted “Leaky Waterbed Full of Cream of Broccoli Soup” Cruz

Sad!

Dammit James, you had me until it didn’t say Crooked Hillary. Good work, B+.

“um, it actually turned out that we can’t afford LL Cool J, but we were able to book Chris O’Donnell and his ska band”