Please try my app, TB13, for the low price of $199.97 per year.

Thank you for this, I hate when I eat a world and it upsets my allergies

I usually pick the Grass starter, so I guess... the dude with the leaf on his head? I hope he evolves into something cooler, though.

I just went to Alzheimer’s since his dad had it, but it could be this too.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/alzheimers/handwriting-changes-can-indicate-alzheimers-progression-8042.aspx

It’s been less than a year. Somehow, it’s also been 37 years. “2017" is a bubble of warped spacetime.

but for a guy that [says he] lives clean and sober,

This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me over the internet.

I know it’s funny guys, but putting peanut butter on the roof of his mouth doesn’t really make it look like he can speak English. Also please make sure you use creamy PB so he doesn’t accidentally choke. Actually, forget about that part.

Eli is still very famous and sort of handsome

4. Scampi Taleggio

“They’re socialists who want to change our way of life. Putting man above God and the government is our god. They are the Washington establishment. They want to keep everything the same so they don’t lose their position, power, and prestige.”

I feel like if I ever meet him in person, the first thing he’ll do is shake my hand too hard and try to sell me a 1995 Hyundai Accent with only 300,000 miles on it.

In the future, everybody will be Secretary of State for 15 minutes

I didn’t even remember that - I did say I wasn’t an expert...

For more details, please watch the upcoming documentary National Treasure 3: Nicolas Cage Needs More Money

Not a FOOTBALL expert, but I’m pretty sure winning 2 Super Bowls is probably enough to get a QB in the HoF. I bet plenty of people would vote him in just for beating the 2007 Patriots.

I agree, they should definitely have thrown those 2 games to keep their losing streak alive. But not everyone can be the Browns or the ‘08 Lions.

Actually, if you have read the Constitution as closely as I have, it clearly says that if we ever elect the King of Britain as president, then we become British subjects again forever. It’s in the footnotes on page 75.

Yes, it’s genius. Harry can get his son to be President of the U.S. easy - all he has to do is raise the kid with American citizenship and live in the U.S. for a little while. Then once he’s inaugurated, Harry just has to kill his dad, brother, nieces and nephews, and then himself sothe kid can also be the British…